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Marmite chocolate

28 May

Weird food: Marmite chocolate

What food has a statue dedicated to it, is smeared on bald men’s heads to promote hair growth and has been banned in Denmark? The answer of course is Marmite.

Created from the by-product of beer-brewing – containing yeast, flavourings and rich in vitamin – the viscous, black stuff recently hit the headlines after a Queen’s Jubilee edition of the cleverly named Maa’mite was launched.

Ma'amite

Ma’amite: Yeast-based spread fit for a Queen

Dividing the nation since its creation in 1902, while some balk at the umami flavour, an elite group of Marmite fans, the Marmarati, hold it in such high esteem they’re charged with creating new Marmite-related products including Marmite flavoured crisps, breadsticks, cheese, cashew nuts and cereal bars. Their latest offering is Marmite chocolate.

Very Peculiar Marmite chocolate

Love it or hate it? Marmite chocolate

It’s not unheard of to mix Marmite with sweet foods. In August 2006 celebrity chef Gary Rhodes created a dessert consisting of coffee ice cream topped with chocolate sauce with a dash of Marmite.

But how would the gooey spread that looks like crude oil, fare encased in milk chocolate?

We all know the moniker: Marmite – you either love it or hate it. I’m firmly in the ‘love it’ camp but prefer mine on hot buttered toast. Still, with just two per cent of Marmite flavouring, the chocolate can’t taste that strong…

How wrong can one woman be? The packet’s warning ‘Very peculiar’ and the promise to ‘bewilder the tastebuds,’ should’ve been a clue. Clearly, I’m more the Hastings than the Poirot of the food world.

Despite being vegetarian, the first sniff smacks of caramelised beef and the taste is even worse. It’s so salty, like consuming an ocean, and as I swallow an unpleasant aftertaste sneaks in. It’s that cloying taste, the dehydrated feeling when you’ve woken up after one too many and it feels like something’s died in your mouth.

So what are the saving graces? Well, here comes the science bit. Jampacked with nutritional benefits, marmite’s good for liver and kidney function and protects the nervous system. One serving provides 36 per cent of your RDA of Vitamin B3, 50 per cent of folic acid.

Coupled with chocolate that is proven to lower blood pressure, it’s practically a superfood. Wheatgrass and blueberries, you’re out on your ear.

Not sure those health benefits are enough to entice me to have another square though. I’ll leave it to the true fans!

Nine things you never knew about Marmite:

  1. It was used in WW1 ration packs and sent to British peacekeeping forces in Kosovo to boost morale in 1999.
  2. It’s named after petite marmite, a French stew, hence the cooking pot shape of the jar and the picture on the front.
  3. Marmite held traffic at a standstill when a tanker carrying more than 20 tonnes of the yeast extract overturned on the M1 in November last year.
  4. Sculptor Jeremy Fattorini has created Rodin’s The Kiss sculpture using Marmite in February 2008 in London’s Greenwich Park. The 7ft statue took nearly two and a half weeks to create and was coated in 420  jars of limited edition I Love You Champagne Marmite.
Rodin's The Kiss Marmite sculpture

Sealed with a (Marmite) Kiss – Marmite sculptur

5.Missouri is the proud home of the Marmite museum

6. 50 million jars of marmite are produced each year.

7. The biggest export market for Marmite is Sri Lank

8. George Lambert from Hackney was the first marmite sarniologist. He made a 12 ft tall stack containing 500 slices of bread, 20 lettuces, 65 tomatoes, 30 bananas, 25 carrots,1500g of cheese and, of an unstated quantity of Squeezy Marmite in 2008.

Largest Marmite sandwich

Tower of horror? Largest Marmite sandwich

9. Marmite repels mosquitos. Maybe that’s why 14 per cent of Brits take it on holiday with them.

ENDS

Watch out for another chocolate with a twist in my next post on Wasabi chocolate


Ghastly Garlic Puddings

11 Dec

Garlic Tiramisu: A bitter end to the meal

NOTHING tastes quite as divine as Tiramisu. Rich, coffee-soaked sponge, fluffy cloud-like Italian cream, curls of chocolate sprinkled on top. Unless, that is, you lace it with pungent garlic.

And that is what you’re letting yourself in for if you eat at Garlic and Shots, a restaurant in London’s trendy Soho where everything, including puddings, comes with lashings of the abominable bulb.

This tar-like chocolate gloop, doesn’t taste of coffee, is topped with thick, tasteless cream and has the overpowering aftertaste of garlic. A bitter end to a disappointing meal.

With branches in Palma and Stockholm, Garlic and Shots, founded by the Swedish Olsson brothers, is aimed at the hairy biker, Ozzy Osbourne fan or heavy metal head-banger.

Mounted stag’s heads, photos of skeletons and a papier-mache Michelin man adorn the walls. It’s trying to be edgy but with the wipe-clean, laminated menus and toilet facilities featuring peeling paint and graffiti, it’s just a bit, well, dirty.

As rock classics blare from the stereo, our pink-haired waitress brought me a garlic and honey vodka shot. Sweet at first, it hit the back of my throat and made me shudder. It was like hearing ragged fingernails scratching across a blackboard.

I tried to console myself by thinking of the health benefits of garlic. A member of the onion family and closely related to the chive and the leek, it can prevent heart disease and cancer –  and of course it wards off vampires.

Amateur: Steak with a garlic cross

The main course fared slightly better. The ‘Transylvanian vampire steak’ melted like butter when I cut into it, but was ruined by tomato and peppercorn sauce that tasted like something a hard-up student had knocked up from a tin of tomatoes and far too many peppercorns. Topped with a ‘garlic cross’, literally two shreds of garlic in the shape of a cross, it looked amateur.

The lamb shank was tender and juicy, accompanied by a garlic and malt whisky butter, red wine jus, and trees of asparagus wrapped in bacon. But the lamb and steak, as well as all the other main courses – chilli con carne, bangers and mash, seafood stew or burgers –   are dishes you’d expect to contain garlic. Nothing special.

Another dessert, Swedish radio cake, was a tarted up Rich Tea chocolate biscuit cake. The chocolate tasted cheap and the garlic hit left a bitter aftertaste.

I thought the chef would caramelise the garlic to make it sweeter,then expertly combine it with other ingredients to enable    the flavours to marry. No such luck.

The restaurant felt like a gimmick. Like paying to meet Dracula, and then discovering it’s your dad’s mate wearing a pair of fake fangs.

The tin pots full of parsley on the table did little to dampen my garlic, death breath. Leaving my half-eaten dessert I couldn’t get out of the rock-style restaurant fast enough – like a bat out of hell.

Garlic and Shots, 14 Frith Street, London, W1D 4RD, 0207 734 9505

Jelly (beans) and I scream

29 Nov

Weird foods: Dog food, vomit, rotten egg, mouldy cheese, nappies, baby wipes, centipede and bogey flavoured jelly beans

THE EXPRESSION on my face says it all; eyes bulging and mouth foaming like a rabid dog. My taste buds are being assaulted and I’m not talking a gentle happy slapping. More the brutal, set-upon-by-thugs wielding razor blades in an alley type beating.

Bean Boozled: A Game of Chance

First there’s the sour tang, a punch of pepper, a waft of cheese then the noxious taste of rotten egg. All these flavours have been hidden in a tiny sweet – a yellow bullet that can make you gag with one shot.

But for Jelly Belly, this rotten-egg-flavoured bean is a success. The California-based company prides itself on creating authentic-tasting sweets. So the weird flavours that make up Bean Boozled – mouldy cheese, centipede, nappies and dog food – are no exception.

Bean Boozled is more than just a box of sweets, it’s a game. Players must spin the wheel to choose which coloured sweet they must eat. But for each delicious-tasting bean there’s a disgusting counterpart. Will the green bean taste of pear or bogies? Is the maroon bean Centipede or Strawberry Jam?

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