Death by chocolate – almost!

Weird foods: Locusts, crickets, gnu, ostrich, zebra, crocodile, scorpion

THERE aren’t many restaurants where the first words you say to the waiter are ‘Golden Monkey.’ But then there aren’t many restaurants that boast an exotic menu of crocodile, zebra, wildebeest –  and chocolate-covered scorpion for dessert.

Archipelago, a tiny restaurant in North London, has been serving up gastronomica exotica for eleven years. Set up by South African Bruce Alexander, who wanted to move away from London’s ‘samey’ restaurants, it sources its food from all over the world – crocodile from Zimbabwe, Kangaroo from Australia, Gnu from South Africa and locusts and crickets from the rather less exotic Isle of Wight!

A locust dish

“We only use farm-reared animals and of course we’d never use endangered species,” says Head Chef Danny Creedon, who trained as a classical French chef at the Room of Fine Dining. “The meat is often a by-product of other trades, like crocodiles that are farmed for their skins.”

Phew! Conscience clear, we’re free to enjoy the food and the unusual atmosphere. ‘Golden Monkey,’ our secret password to confirm our booking, is all part of the fun – along with the bizarre décor.

Wooden tribal masks, carved elephants and peacock feathers adorn the walls. A blinged-up Buddha in a sequinned crop top watches diners from a corner. On the table, a treasure chest awaits with the menu printed on a tea-stained scroll. It’s rather like stumbling into the attic of a well-travelled but slightly eccentric aunt.

“Most people who come here are adventurous and know what they’re in for,” says Creedon. “When we suggest our diners eat crickets or scorpion they think ‘Oh my God,’ but most will try it. I’d say 99 per cent of those who try it like it.”

It’s a bold claim but the 35-seater restaurant has undoubtedly been a success. It’s never had to advertise – word of mouth being a powerful enough tool to drive people through the door – and it’s even seen some famous faces. Prince William and Kate had an intimate soiree there (well, as intimate as it can be with four bodyguards).

So with an extravagant cocktail peppered with gold leaf in hand, it was time to sink our teeth into the food. First up, crocodile. Creedon’s tried to fit as many different cuisines on one plate – crocodile from Africa, Thai curry paste, Chinese plum sauce and vine leaves from Greece – and somehow it works.

Crocodile can often be dry but the penang curry marinade and the slightly bitter vine leaves it’s wrapped in kept it moist and salty, perfectly complemented by the deep plum dipping sauce.

Scaling new culinary heights with crocodile

The ostrich roulade was an orgasm for the tastebuds – soft, succulent, gamey meat, a creamy sauce with a hint of lemongrass and a spattering of wilted rocket.

Winging it with ostrich

The zebra is served with juniper berry sauce – a common pairing with game – and dished up on a bed of noodles . You can almost forgive the tough, wizened steak because the sauce has such depth of flavour – laced with tart blackcurrants.

Zebra: Tough but tasty

Gnu stroganoff is hearty comfort food; Hunks of tender meat and an explosion of smoked paprika, ground coriander and nutmeg.

The side salad of crickets and locusts should be a mandatory part of your visit. If you ignore the beady, black eyes and bat away the feeling that you’re taking part in a bushtucker trial, you may notice it’s rather like eating pate sandwiched between two bits of burnt toast. You get a burst of flavour – chilli, garlic, galang and lemon grass – but it’s the texture that’s unforgettable. Dry, brittle, with a soft centre. Not for the faint-hearted.

“It’s important that the locusts and crickets are crunchy,” explains Creedon. “Westerners don’t like the squidgy feeling of eating something that bursts in your mouth like a grape. With our locusts and crickets we aim for something which tastes like a pork scratching.”

And for the piece de resistance? Chocolate covered scorpion of course. After arriving pickled in vodka, Creedon bakes it in the oven for 25 minutes before covering it in melted chocolate and serving it on a banana leaf.

The chocolate is rich, dark, velvety-smooth but as you bite into it you get the consistency of dead, dusty leaves. It’s as if it’s been buried in a coffin for months. And is that the faint trace of sand?

Swallow the tail and it could quite literally be death by chocolate (well a nasty injury anyway). Though the waiter reassures us that the venom has been removed, the razor-sharp sting needs to be crunched to a pulp otherwise you risk cutting your osoephagus as it goes down.

Sting in the tail: A risky end to the meal

In a city of cardboard pizzas, brash lights and mediocre restaurant chains, Archipelago is an oasis – delicious, unusual food, presented beautifully with attentive staff and unforgettable surroundings.

Apparently, scorpions can live on one meal a year so if you plan to follow suit and dine out in just one special place make sure it’s at Archipelago . You won’t regret it.

Archipelago, 110 Whitfield Street, Fitzrovia, London, W1T 5ED, 0871 971 6487

Tags: Archipelago, crickets, crocodile, exotic, flavour, food, gnu, locusts, meat, ostrich, restaurant, scorpion, taste buds, Weird, zebra